Welcome to the Big Show....

"Come one, come all" you would hear the circus host say! As he spins his hat and walks away. Leaving you to wonder, what is under this tent? Oh, wait that's right - racism at it's finest coming your way. But don't say a word, cause it's not ok- for you to call me a racist when only you feel this way.

"Hey white bitch, get the fuck out of the way", yet I am not white I say. "Your skin says it all, get the fuck out of the way". As I stand in utter disbelief, my body begins to shutter in grief.

Your ignorance keeps you blind, as a sheep you will follow. No mind of your own, your soul empty and hollow. But as for me - my eyes are wide open for all to see. You are not, nor ever will be - better than me...

Welcome to the Big Show...

Been Dazed and Confused....

Robert Plant told the world that he felt dazed and confused for so long...And in today's society I believe it to be true. I find myself wondering how I got here, why I got here - but most importantly where do I go from here.

Feeling dazed and confused for so long, I find myself longing to belong again. Not to others or any  thing, but to me. I was told that my lack of boundaries were to blame...But can it not be also others who hold the shame. Lost in the mixing bowl, I find myself longing to find my place. A place of comfort and care - not one of clucking hens and ugly snares.

As my eyes began to open, I found myself  afraid to see the world once more. Not wanting to become dazed and confused again. Not wanting to be there again - but if I stand, will I again fall? Would it matter, matter at all.

Probably not as I see...

Crazy Little Thing Called Love....

Freddy sang about "This thing called love", "I just can't handle it" " This crazy little thing called love...Love...for so many years I felt abandoned by love, abandoned and lost to wander aimlessly, alone.

Then something happened, something changed. A change I did not see...But change saw me..I find myself in love again...I ask myself "how did this happen, why did it happen, and will it happen? White Snake reminds of "Once Bitten Twice Shy" ,  and then I find myself back to where I started. Too many men have abused my heart and I let them on the chance of "A Crazy Little Thing Called Love" and again I find myself "Here I Go Again on my Own".

So what is this thing called love? Hormones, Dopamine, Seratonin, or simply a desire to feel loved, wanted, needed...

This crazy little thing called Love...

Lions, Tigers and Bears oh my.....

As Dorothy walked down that yellow brick road.....As many of us do...walking down roads to paths that lead us to...Always the unknown...the most feared road of all...will we stumble and will we fall? Someone told me once "never expect"...meaning regardless of our expectations it will never be what we expect it to be...

And when I find myself wandering down a new path, am I expecting that which may or may never be? Will I find on this journey a path that leads back to me? Lions, and Tigers and Bears...

Oh my....

Don't Look Back...

"Don't look back - a new day is breakin' it's been too long since I felt this way" Boston told us way back in the seventies. (Boston, 1978) And isn't that what it's all about? Going forward, moving ahead, not letting life consume your breath. An Angel once told Lot not to "look back" and look what happened there. What happens when we look back? What are we looking back at? Our selves? Our past? Mistakes, regrets, mishaps? What is it that keeps us in this state of mind?

When looking back, are we expecting to find that something has changed? That maybe we didn't see things the way we do now? Sometimes, it's hard to look back. Sometimes, looking back brings more heartache than pleasure. Sometimes, the grievances of our past can haunt us. And some time, any time, looking back to find answers.

When I look back, I find how much I have changed. How my state of mind has changed. How my past has reinvented my future. And isn't that what it's all about? The future? Moving ahead? Going forward? Yet how many times has the past controlled what I have thought I could change? The past is gone, but never forgotten.

A new day has broken, it's been too long since I've felt this way...

Rite of Passage...

Rites of passage...What are rites of passage? Birth, Marriage, Death? Sweet 16? Adulthood of 18? Drinking age of 21? Fraternities humiliating new members? The list goes on...

A friend had told me recently that I am experiencing a "rite of passage" in my second career. So what is this rite of passage? Bullying, oppression just to name a few. So why is this meant as a "rite of passage"?

The individuals that I have had the most unpleasant experiences of these "rites of passage" makes me question - no - helps me to understand why people don't trust therapists. These women that I have had to endure countless times of being bullied, picked on, screamed at; these women who sorely lack the qualities of a good therapist: Compassion, Empathy, Understanding.

This leads me to wonder why they are in the field that they are in. If you can not have or find in your heart to have these abilities with those that you are mentoring, training, or working with - why are you there? Why do you feel you have the ability to show these very simple human qualities to those you call clients - yet not to those that work tirelessly, for free?

Is this truly a "rite of passage"? Or simply unhappy people that feel they have the right to pick on those who have yet to have achieved what they have (sic) licensing? Or is it really a matter of their own insecurities and lack of ability to own it?

Quite frankly, these "rites of passage" have only shown me one thing: that I would never want to be like this individuals that feel that they have the power to belittle others for the sake of their own inadequacies. That I know in my heart that I could never be like this because I have never been like this. Nor would I put someone through these horrendous situations.

"Rites of Passages"...

When I sang in the Sunshine..