Boston once sang, "Don't look back, a new days waiting - its been too long since I felt this way. So basically telling us to leave the past where it is. So why is it that when the past comes back and smacks you upside your head, leaving you to wonder of the ultimate question of "why now"? And what is it about the past that can make one shiver with fear or beam with delight? My past...scary sometimes to think of just that - smacked me upside my head - well not literally, but it did come a knocking at my door a few weeks ago.
And upon answering the door - I found an old boyfriend from so many years ago I don't want to think about. And it wasn't so much that yes he is an old boyfriend, but more of his attachment to his past with me. A past I could live without being reminded of. Not that it was all bad per se, but considering now he lives next door to me with a girlfriend who knows this past...yeah..that's not good. I really don't feel the need to rehash the past with he or his current girlfriend, but he likes to...
Lately a lot of old boyfriends from the past seem to be popping up out of nowhere and leaves me to question my past loves. Most are amazed that I am single without kids. Not so amazing really - just don't need excess baggage in my life thanks all the same. But it also leads me to wonder if I missed something from the past that I am not seeing now. Or maybe I am missing something from the past?
So why does the past haunt us with melancholy, of days gone by? Is there something that still must be learned from the past? Is the past telling me that I made the right decisions in my life or are there decisions that I could have made that would have made my life different than what it is today?
One thing for sure, I am pretty sure that this relationship would have never worked out, as I am with many of my past relationships. But it makes me wonder if that is what the past is telling me - to stop looking at the past and find a new dawn awaiting me.
My past truly haunts me...
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